I’ve been keeping a secret....
For like 3 years...maybe longer. As I am typing this I am scared AF! This secret is getting closer and closer to being out in the world. In fact, if you’re reading this, the secret is out. Perhaps you think I am being dramatic, maybe you’re right. For me, thinking about my journal entries (or things I couldn’t even write before) suddenly becoming public to all of the internet, I get a little nervous. But let’s take a leap and see what happens.
For a while I told NOBODY, not even Germain (that’s my husband, for those of you who don’t know.) Then I let it slip out as a “joke” after a few cocktails with my girlfriends, they would always respond with something in the realm of “OMG you should totally do that”. Recently, I told a group of incredibly supportive women, it was received so well and they were beyond kind in their feedback. But let’s be honest, I had no accountability to them, it was a safe place to speak it and not have to take any action.
Fast forward to me sending this secret to some of my trusted friends asking for help (shout out to creating my very own mastermind). The feedback brought me to tears (of happiness). Sometimes you just don’t see how others view you until you ask. (Side note, if you need a boost to your self confidence, ask people who absolutely adore you to tell you how they would describe you). I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all the people who leaped onto Team Jess without hesitation. Even with all the love and support the universe is throwing my way, it’s still a scary thing to take all of your inner monologue and give the internet a front row seat. As we begin, I sincerely hope you will join me, here are a few of my thoughts on the process of getting this started.
Permission to suck
This is my first topic because I struggled with it for so dang long, full disclosure, this is still a HUGE issue for me. For those of you who do not know me well, I am a type A perfectionist (in recovery!). This means I do not want to do anything in life that is not seen as absolutely amazing… aka perfect. If there is even an inkling that I may not completely rock something, I am more than likely not going to even try it. Sound familiar to anyone? Yep, you are my people, welcome babe!
There are a lot of benefits to this trait, we’re typically high performers and achievers, when we do throw ourselves at anything, we usually knock it out of the park. We are busy working like hell to make it look effortless, heaven forbid we let someone see us struggle, or be the newbie and figure things out. And ask for help? Not a chance! So why do we chase some things at full speed and completely avoid others if this is the case? I believe that it’s because we do not give ourselves full out permission to suck at something. So this is my official permission to myself to suck at this.
Haters gonna hate
Someone (maybe more than one someone) will not like you. OUCH! Ooh did I forget to mention I have a side of people pleasing with that perfectionism, yep it’s full plate people. You will always have haters (ALWAYS), there will always be someone one who doesn’t like you, doesn’t like something you did, doesn’t like how you handled something, the list goes on endlessly.
If you have people pleasing tendencies, this is like a knife to the heart, but girl, it’s so dang true. And do you know what you can do about it? Not a dang thing! Feel better? Yea, I know, me neither. Now that we have accepted that, let’s move on to the part I choose to focus on. While you will have some people hating on everything you do, my theory is that those people have nothing of their own that they are creating so they have a ton of free time to criticize you. Ever met a hater doing better than you? Yea girl, me neither so don’t let them dictate how you grow. Just keep shining your crazy bright light, even if there are people who don’t like the light being in their eyes.
Stay in your lane
Did you know there are 152 million blogs in the world… 152 MILLION. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Type A Jess’s head just exploded. Whenever I start something new, I look around to see who else is doing it and doing it well. A couple clicks on Google and you will find out there are 152 million blogs, and you will need to find your niche, find a way to stand out, create the most incredible photos and the prettiest blog there ever was, no pressure, right?
I bet you forgot after you read that crazy number (like I did) that I already got permission to suck two paragraphs above. Putting that all the pressure up on a shelf, I am choosing to stay in my own lane. Put my blinders on, speak my truth and keep it moving. There a ton of people who also do my day job career and does that make me any less amazing? Nope, it sure doesn’t! There are a ton of incredible blogs out there, but do you know what they don’t have? A #HappyJess!
Maybe it will be amazing
Moving on from what scares the crap out of me, lets at least mention the fact that this might actually be an unimaginable experience. I have an incredibly demanding career that I love and I wanted to do this to give myself a creative outlet that also allows me to find my people. I know I am not the only one who is a corporate hustler by day, fierce dog momma, proud southern girl, whiskey enthusiast, amateur photographer, wifey, sister, boss lady, and loyal friend…. I am multi passionate and I know there are others out there. So, if this resonates with you, come along with me. I’ll bring the sassy comments and open heart, you bring the snacks, and maybe a cocktail.
“Even if you go for it and it doesn’t work out, you still win. You had the guts to head straight into something that scared you. That type of bravery will take you places”
Here we go….
xo Jess