Surrender & Sick Days

As I am writing this I am struggling with a cold, and this is extra annoying because I rarely get sick, the last sick day I took was over a year ago, that’s how seldom this occurs. Germain was travelling for work last week and brought home a monster cold that took him down for a week straight and he was so kind to share it with me. Thanks babe. *insert eye roll*

Being completely transparent, I am NOT a good patient, if you read any of my story before you know I am a *recovering* type A, perfectionist, people pleaser so getting sick really doesn't play well with those other traits. As I lay in bed, unable to breathe through both nostrils at the same time, unable to stop coughing, begging this fever to go away, I am thinking about the work piling up, the emails going unread and filling up my inbox and all the things I had planned to get done this week moving farther down the list because I cannot do them.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else? I am literally sick in bed and all I can think about are the items not getting checked off my to do list, instead of resting and healing. Finally went to see the doctor and while she wanted me to take the rest of the week off, rest and not spread germs to the whole office, I negotiated with her to let me work from home instead of taking the time completely off. Seriously, I have issues, please send Germain good vibes trying to take care of me and keep me resting for the remainder of this week.

This experience started me thinking about rest and how I really struggle to take it. On weekends when I have downtime or nothing to do, I will find something, anything to keep me busy. I will do laundry, fold towels, dust my bookshelves, straighten up the house, fluff couch pillows, literally anything to keep from sitting still. I desperately want to be one of those people who can truly rest and relax but if I am being honest it's a struggle for me. Our culture celebrates busy-ness and exhaustion, you see empowering quotes everywhere about hustling, grinding, late nights, and early mornings, even this blog was born due to getting up at 5am during the busiest month of my whole year at work. A fact that I am quite proud of, for accomplishing a dream and being bigger than my excuses. But where is the line from hustle to fatigue?

While I know this cold came from all the airplane germs that Germain dragged home with him, I wonder if my immune system was just waiting for something like this to come along.To force my body to rest and heal, to take the choice away from me and my subconscious default to keep pushing myself long after I should. I am the person that will just keep pushing, never raise my hand for help, never let anyone see me struggling. But when you're sick, it's hard to keep that facade going, hard to hold that line when you can't breathe and a fever is keeping you glued to your mattress.

So I surrender, I am letting my body call the shots and if it needs rest, that is what I will give it. Make no mistake, this is the more difficult choice for me, I would rather push through and clear that inbox. However today I am taking my own advice, I often tell my team you need to rest and take care of yourself so you can be 100% when you are in the office. Right now, I am probably at 20% and I would do no one any good so you win body. Rest, fluids, Abby Roo snuggles and maybe a hot toddy just because I can.

Please send your good vibes for a speed recovery and at home remedies if you have them because I cannot wait to be back to 100%.